Twisted life
by Potato-Levi
Summary: 'This' happened and also 'that' happened and now he's pregnant and it's the fault of a stupid doctor and a protozoan. Hell, he didn't know what he got himself and the bartender into... Shizaya rated T, will go up in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Hello everyone, this my first Durarara fanfiction, This story kept bugging me and begged me to write it down, The chapters are short, I know, but it's better for me to do it like this. Well, I don't have much to say.

Sooo...

Enjoy reading this twisted story of mine and please tell me what ya think!

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**Everything went wrong.**

**First problem: Shizuo was drunk, As a result, I became a victim of rape, to be precisely, rape that I literally enjoyed. I don't care 'cause no one will know.**

**The second problem wouldn't have been there if Shinra didn't put hormone pills in my tea. Special pills that creates genes that resembles that of a woman's with as results that a uterus was created above my bladder .Well, The blame is not going to him. How could he know that the brute supposedly raped me. But the reason why he put pills in my tea is still an unsolved question.**

**But the biggest problem of all, after going through some tests, is something I don't want to say... and that's that...**

**I'm pregnant, to be correctly I'm in the fifth month of my pregnancy. Fifth months without him, does It looks like I care?**

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"Izaya!": Shinra yelled as a loud 'bang' occurred in the raven's room. He hastily opened the door and saw Izaya struggling on the ground coughing and vomiting. "Izaya! What the hell happened": He ran towards Izaya and helped him to sit. He took out some pills and told Izaya to bite on them. "This will prevent you from vomiting for the time being": He said as he took out his handkerchief. " Izaya, Are you alright?"

"Shinra, T-there's nothing wrong, why would you think that?~": He answered back, as always covering his face with his fake smile.

That didn't work on Shinra anymore, he hated when Izaya didn't want to show his weak side" Izaya, are are you sick? carrying a baby as a 'full' grown man is harder than a woman and I know it as your doctor and your friend. I took a day off as a precaution to see how you're doing, so tell me where you're hurt so I can prescribe you the right medicine."

"So many question, You're giving me a headache, shinra~"

" So you have a headache and those weren't questions?"

"no, I don't have a headache"

" but you just said..."

" I said nothing about having a headache right now, Shinra~"

"Izaya..."

"Alright...I'm feeling sick~"

"Izaya...you need to take this seriously , there's a small baby in your uterus, ...already five months, you need to take better care of yourself, walking will be difficult": He said pointing his finger towards Izaya's belly.

Izaya knew precisely how to take care of himself, but sitting the whole day wasn't going to achieve anything. Shinra said his body can't withstand rapid changes, which caused the difficulty in walking. Sometimes he got the thought that he was better off if he were a woman. They could at least walk and run in their fifth months of their pregnancy. Izaya realized that the time he got pregnant, he also got emotionally frustrated, month by month it's getting worse.

"Shinra...You should know by now that it's not easy for me to carry a baby all alone, there are times I can't even walk, but I don't have anyone to support me, so how do you want me to take this seriously, I mean look at me, a man carrying a baby, that's just plain wrong": Izaya said sounding like he made just a joke out of it.

Shinra sighed in pity." Izaya, I'm sorry... It's my fault putting those pills in your tea...sorry , but you're also not honest, You didn't even tell me who the father is so I can search for him. It would be easier for you"

Izaya laughed. " The father? Helping me? Hahahaha, that will never happen"

Shinra got frustrated. "Izaya, why won't you tell me?"

"Why should I? The father is a protozoan and a brute and not even human"

Shinra was surprised. Brute? Protozoan? Weren't those the words he used for Shizuo, don't tell me...? And what the hell did he mean by 'not human'?

"Izaya..."

"What?~"

" By any means, the father?, is it maybe S...S-shizuo?"

The sudden change on Izaya's face made it all clear. It was a little sign of fear before it was covered by his fake smirk.

"W-Why would you think that?~": He said trying to sound normal as possible.

Part of Shinra was shocked and the other relieved, relieved that it's someone he knows , but shocked about the fact that those two ever had sex with each other.

"Izaya, Why won't you let Shizuo help you?"

"Hahaha, Do you really believe that Shizu- W-wait I didn't say it's Shizu-chan": He said trying to use one of his mask to cover his frustration.

"Hahahahaa, no, but think about what you just said a second ago"

"Shit...": He murmured. " Shinra, if you tell anyone about this, I 'll kill you..."

" Alright, I promise, I won't tell anyone, including Celty, but Izaya, I'm going to call Shizuo, ditching you like this is unacceptable"

Izaya hastily stood up, grabbing Shinra's arm." No, shinra don't call him, It... No, never mind, don't call him, I'll kill ya~": He said, this time showing a tiny bit of fear.

"Izaya, Does Shizuo knows you're pregnant?

"..."

"Izaya..."

Izaya turned his head the other way, but it was enough for Shinra to understand that the Brute didn't know anything about Izaya's pregnancy.

"Izaya, if you want it or not, I'm going to Shizuo's place and talk with him, no, I mean ,he's coming here"

"No! Shinra! I'm really going to kill you! He doesn't have to know this!": Izaya stated.

"I'm sorry, but you can't kill me in your condition right now": He said walking to the telephone." I'm going to call him right now"

"...Shit...": He thought.

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**XXX-XXX-XXX**

There you have it.

If you found any grammatical mistakes, I'm sorry, English isn't my Native Language and I also have no beta reader,,

please review and tell me what ya think.

'till next time~


	2. Chapter 2

**Shit! I forgot to update, I'm really sorry!**

**But ….**

**Here's the second chapter as promised. Kyaa~ I loved your reviews XD**

**Enjoy~**

**XXX-XXX-XXX**

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It was a cold evening in Ikebukuro, the type of cold that seeped through thick layers to chill your skin. Temperatures were below zero, but snow had yet to fall. Shizuo stood before the gates of a school, remembering his old times and years in High school and the start of all the drama that was caused by a certain Flea.

A slight sound made Shizuo's ears twitch and he was quick to see someone called.

He looked at the Id-number and sighed. " What does he wants?": He growled under his breath.

" Hello?"

[Ahh, Shizuo, It's Shinra, I need you to come over to Izaya's house, It's important!]

There goes his free time, what would be that important to waste his precious time. W-wait what did he say!

"Huh! WHAT?! The flea's hou..."

[Please, come over it's really important!] [[Shinra! You heard him, He has very low intentions to come]][ Please be quiet, Izaya]

This was confusing for the ex-bartender. "What the hell"

[Uhmm... Shizuo, j-just come over, I will explain everything.]

He sighed, "Alright, give me ten minutes": He said before he hung up. "What the hell does he wants, why that damn Flea's house..": He murmured.

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"Ah, done, He's here within ten minutes Izaya": Shinra said as he put down the telephone.

"Shut up, Shinra"

"Wow! You're really angry, but you already knows you can't do this alone, the first five months were easy compared to the upcoming months. besides I also have work to do, I can't be with you all the time and leaving a pregnant woma- m-men alone is dangerous, even if you're one of the strongest in Ikebukuro, I can't leave you alone, so let Shizuo, your **husband **take care of you"

"Shinra, dare to call Shizu-chan **my **husband or me a woman again and I'll kill ya, besides you're talking too much": He threatened the doctor with a rather dangerous smirk.

Shinra plainly ignored Izaya's threat and looked at him confusedly.

"Izaya? Do you love shizuo? I-I mean you and him did t-this and t-that in a c-certain room": Shinra struggled in his words as he nervously pressed his fingers against each other.

Izaya blinked. Love? certain room? This was funny ." Hahaha, You're hilarious, I , Orihara Izaya loves Shizu-chan? hahaha, No, never! And that thing we did in a certain room? You're funny, It's not that we made love, Shizu-chan was just plain drunken, He doesn't even remember that I was the one he fucked.

Shinra looked astonished and walked to Izaya's desk. He picked up some pills and walked back to the raven to hand it to him. " Well, what happened has happened, besides, take your pills, yo-": Shinra was interrupted by a loud knock at the front door.

"Ah, that's Shizuo, Izaya wait here": Shinra grinned cheerfully as he made his way towards the door. When the doctor was out of sight, Izaya carefully stood up and walked to his room and locked the door after him.

Shinra heard the sound of Izaya locking the door and sighed. "Izaya...": He though. He opened the door and saw the ex-bartender waiting patiently at the other side of the door, behind the threshold. He smiled and greeted him. " Do you want tea?"

Shizuo Shizuo looked indignantly at the cheerful doctor. 'What the hell is he thinking'

"Shinra...I'm not going to drink a cup of tea in the flea's house, besides , you wanted to tell me something?"

"Ah, yes": Shinra grabbed Shizuo's arm and dragged him off to sit down. Shizuo struggled for a moment before relenting; he really wasn't in the mood to deal with the other today.

When they had settled down in the living room Shizuo asked, "So, what do you want?" He was taken aback when Shinra's eyes lost their cheer and turned serious.

"Let's get straight to the point."

Shizuo was wide-eyed, he had never seen Shinra this serious and where the hell was the flea?

"Shizuo, have you ever thought about being a father?"

The ex-bartender hadn't been expecting this question from Shinra of all people. Where in the world did he came up with such a ridiculous question?

Shinra poured himself a cup of tea and patted Shizuo's shoulder. "Shizuo, there's something you should know and I don't think you'll be over the moon with it"

Shizuo leaned against the couch and looked at him indignantly. "So, what is it?"

"How should I say this? Y-you will be father."

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**XXX-XXX-XXX**

**Sorry for any mistakes in the chapter….-_-**

**phew, There you have it XD Don't forget to review XD It's gives me the motivation XD**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry peeps…. I forgot to update again and it's also a short one, but the next one isn't as short as this one XD**

**XXX-XXX-XXX**

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Shizuo blinked and blinked again, 'till his eyes grew tired of it. After three minutes he came back to reality ."Would you mind repeating that ridiculous sentence again"?: He asked, trying to be calm and not believing what the doctor just said. What kind of idiot would say to someone he's becoming father without knowing everything. Although, Shinra was an idiot to begin with.

Shinra took a deep breath and eyed apologetically at the ex-bartender, afraid that he will end up in hospital if he says something inappropriate.

The first time saying he would become father was much easier than now, he felt shizuo's eyes piercing through him, what makes it even more difficult. Saying something inappropriate right now can bring unpleasant consequences and seeing the ex-bartender in a perilous mood is already worse enough.

"Uhm..." Shinra struggled trying to find the right words to say. " Shizuo... A fertilization occurred by the mixture of the ovum and your sperm- c...ells in the body of a Homosapien and in a short amount of time a new Homosapien will be brought to live."

"What?": He asked eyeing the doctor confusedly. " Say it again in a language that normal humans can understand, please.". Shizuo hated when Shinra talked like that, He can't understand a damn thing. Not everyone has a large vocabulary, such words aren't even necessary in daily life, So why does the damn doctor use them?

"Promise me , you won't hit me!": Shinra begged.

"...Shinra..."

"Promise!"

Shizuo sighed a rather tired sigh." I promise, just hurry up and say your damn thing"

Shinra took a deep breath again and gathered all his courage to say it. "...You will become a...parent"

"Who?": Was the only response coming from the bartender.

"What do you mean by who?": The doctor asked confusedly.

"I mean, who is the one I fucked and is now carrying a damn baby"

"Uhm...". Shinra wasn't expecting this, he thought Shizuo would burst out and use his full rage to destroy the whole apartment. But what made Shinra more surprised was the way Shizuo reacted, It looked like he didn't give a damn, but still he didn't know how to say it to Shizuo, Saying that's Izaya, will only lead him to an early death. And he doesn't want to die early, 'cause he wants to marry Celty and live a happy life ever after.

"Uhm...": Shinra struggled again, finding the right words to say.

"Say it!": Shizuo burst out, It took too long and he's now losing his patience. He didn't come all the way here, only to listen to a damn doctor who can't make a proper sentence.

"Uhm... You're so called wife,...maybe you can guess it": Shinra looked at Shizuo with tears in his eyes. Why didn't Shizuo realize it, He is in damn Izaya's house. Sometimes he's a real idiot.

Finally after ten minutes everything became clear for the ex-bartender. He hasn't seen the flea in the last five months and right now he's sitting on the couch in the damn Flea's house. Shizuo looked wide-eyed and full of fear at Shinra. "D-don't tell me..."

Shinra nodded carefully. " Y-Yes, It's Izaya..."

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**XXX-XXX-XXX**

**Seriously, I need to write everything down in my agenda, in case that I forget to update again…..-_-**

**And…..**

**As always, leave a review ( then I get to know if there's really someone who likes this twisted story)**

**'Til next time XD**


	4. Chapter 4

**Helloo living creatures on earth, Here's chapter 5, Fortunately a bit longer than the last one... ****yaayyy**

**uhmm, I don't have much to say today... so enjoy reading XD **

**XXX-XXX-XXX**

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Shizuo's peaceful world fell apart, Just as he found out that he and Izaya have a child in expectation. The tendency to terminate Shinra's life float in the air like some pixel dust, only he had promised not to hurt him. There was only one thing left to do after Shinra explained little by little the problems Izaya had in the past five months. "I'm going to the fucking Flea, where's he?": He said as he rose up from the couch.

Shinra had a bad feeling about this and grabbed Shizuo's arm and held it as if his life depended on it. Shizuo immediately understood Shinra's conduct and rest his hand on his shoulder. "Shinra, I promise, I won't hurt him"

Shinra slowly let go of Shizuo's arm and sat on the couch. He sighed in relief and looked at Shizuo confidently." I believe you , Izaya is upstairs in his room, do you want me to go with you or do want to talk in privacy"

Shizuo chuckled." You make it sound like it's some serious business , by the way, I'd like to go alone and talk in 'privacy' ": He said.

Shinra looked at his watch as he rose up. "It's getting late, I'm going home, Shizuo , don't do anything that I will regret for leaving you"

"I promise, Shinra"

Shinra smiled and waved the ex-bartender goodbye, still a bit unsure, but he had to venture it. When the doctor was gone, Shizuo walked to Izaya's room. He stopped at the door and hesitated a bit. He soon noticed it was locked on the inside. He knocked at the door. " Flea, open the door!" He demanded.

No response...

"Izaya! Open the fucking door!"

After a few seconds Izaya slightly opened the door and greeted Shizuo with a smile. "Hello, Shizu-chan, what has brought you the pleasure to visit me?" Izaya asked in a way that irritated the Ex-Bartender. Shizuo furiously opened the door and invited himself in Izaya's room, holding himself in not to beat the crap out of the Flea. "Do not play dumb Flea, you know why I'm here!"

Izaya closed the door for some unknown reason and walked to his bed, grabbed his bed sheet and draped it around his shoulders. "So, Shinra told you everything Shizu-chan"

Shizuo didn't listen to the flea. He could not prevent his eyes to not look at the small sphere that protruded under Izaya's blanket.

Thoughts of how the child will look like and how the child will be called wandered through his head. But he forgot something very important. It's **HIS** and** IZAYA'S** child. It made him sick. And the funny thing is that he doesn't remember. Doesn't fucking remember when he fucked the Flea. And he knows. Fucking knows that the Flea will invent him things and is going to give the real story his own twist, as retinue he will feel guilty or something like that. "Flea..."

"What is it Shizu-chan~?

"Listen. I'm not going to help you 'cause I want to. I'm only going to help you 'cause Shinra wanted to and I don't want the baby to get your twisted insanely habits and...If I'm going to ask you how it happened, you'll give the story your own twist": Shizuo said it in one go, still pissed off.

Izaya chuckled." Typical Shizu-chan, but who said I'd want you to help me?"

There he goes again. The Flea always tried to not violate his pride . Hence he says he doesn't need help. But Shizuo knows too well the problems Izaya had the past five months following Shinra's story. Without further ado, Shizuo asked what Izaya wanted to eat today, much to his dismay, ohh... the urge to kill the Flea right now was never this big. But he tried to play the good guy instead of the bad one, but how long will it last is the question.

One the other end of the room sat a shocked Izaya, but it soon formed into a smirk "What? Shizu-chan wants to cook for me? How nice, but what if you'll poison it?"

"Hell I'll poison it, that means the kid will die, If it wasn't for the kid, I would poison all your meals with love and watch you having a nice and painful death, as I said I only do my best for the kid , so shut it and tell me what you want to eat?"

" How mean Shizu-chan, I always knew you wanted to kill me, but I didn't know the urge was this bad, If that's the case, I can't help it. but I'm hungry right now so buy me ootoro, You don't have to cook it, just buy it~": Izaya said with a smirk, this was far than amusing for the informant.

Izaya tried to stand, he was getting tired of sitting on the bed, but failed when he felt the baby kicking against his stomach. He lost his grip on the bed and fell. Instead of falling on the hard ground, he felt big soft warm hands around his waist gripping him tightly, picking him up in bridal style and laying him carefully on the bed. Failing to cover his emotion with his fake mask, he looked with a jolty face at Shizuo.

Shizuo just realized what he did and walked out of embarrassment to the door and said he's going to buy some food and within a second he left without saying anything else.

Still looking at the closed door, Izaya began to laugh.

" Stupid Shizu-chan, still too soft for your own good"

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**xxx-xxx-xxx**

**Woehoee and the fourth chapter is done. I edited this chapter three times, 'till it was good enough to my own liking. Uhm.. I don't if I can update chapter 5 in time, I have too much homework, school sucks... but as always, I love your reviews, It makes me happy and It gives me motivation, so...maybee I'll make some free time to write chapter 5, but I can't promise you anything.**

**Well, as always thank you for reading this story and see ya next time XD **


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